I went to my yearly exam last week. And left not worried about my vagina but about my drinking problem?
Before I even had the exam the doctor’s assistant asked me these questions:
1.Do you text while Driving?
2. How many days in a month do you drink?
3.Have I lost any of my close friends due to my alcohol use?
4.Do I ever forget anything when I drink?
and last but not least …
5. When I drink do I find myself not wanting to stop?
What? What does drinking or texting have to do with my vagina?
1. Sometimes when it is an emergency. (white lie)
2. About 4. (White lie yet again…more like 8)
3. No ( Actual truth…which gave me a slight ego boost)
4. Not really. (Definite LIE! More like quite often Tid bits go missing)
5. Not necessarily. (SUPER LIE) I only really like drinking when I know I don’t have to stop.
I started to feel like an intense alcoholic at this point and as if they were getting ready to sign me up for AA.
Finally the doctor arrives and says “So you text while you drive?” and follows that with “You don’t drink that often but when you do, you realllly like to drink alot huh?”
The saving grace of my appointment was that, “My vagina looked good”. Which meant that everything was “normal” not that mine was particularly hotter than any others.
Which was the WHOLE point of going to the gynecologist in the first place. This is why I will now only go to Planned Parenthood where they don’t judge you, you judge others 😉