JUICE FAST CONFESSIONS DAY 2 of 5
*I must preface this to say, this post has a bitter and frustrating tone. If you want an uplifting post do not read.If you have a problem with that, then I will be punching you in the face.*
Day 1 is COMPLETE– what a rollercoaster (minus the up part). I started the day excited to kick off my cleanse, but by the time 11am rolled around, and headaches, hunger, exhaustion and cravings kicked in, I realized that it’s not as easy and fun as they make it look in the movie. Sure I’ve done this before, but it doesn’t feel any easier this time. In fact, it feels just harder because I know how hard it is and how much it sucks.
I got invited to go to a nice steakhouse tonight, and I immediately declined (go me!). My lovely coworkers kept pressing so finally I had to lie and say I was taking my cat to the vet! They would NOT understand a juice fast… I mean heck do I even understand it? Because it’s against obvious wisdom, “everything in moderation.”
Well moderation is a crock of shit. If you can practice moderation every single day of your life then PROPS, you will never have a weight, health or anything problem. But for the rest of us there’s juice fasts. Or [insert diet of choice here]. Once this fast is over my aim is to incorporate at least 1 juice a day into my diet, and eat CLEAN. And to practice moderation! What a concept!
My rule of thumb is to drink a lot of juice in the beginning of the fast. Drink until you are full and don’t even want food anymore. As the day goes on you’ll adjust and need less and less juice. During my headache/exhaustion/shakiness phase Lindsay convinced me to eat a banana. I resisted, but now I thank her. There is nothing wrong with eating the very thing you are juicing.
Here was my “eating” schedule:
7:00am – 4 oz
9:20am – 8 oz
11:45am – 6 oz
2:00pm – 6 oz
4:00pm – (headache, weak, lightheaded) – ate a banana
5:00pm – 4 oz
7:00pm – 8 oz
7:30pm – SICK OF JUICE!!!
8:30pm – Hungry again, so 6 more ounces for me.
I also drank 96 ounces of water throughout the day. The bathroom was my friend.
– Tell your roommate/significant other to eat dinner BEFORE you get home. If possible. I didn’t appreciate coming home to pizza and beer on the table.
– Put your juice in a giant thermos to take to work. Most of us can’t exactly take a juicer to work.
– Distract yourself. Thinking about food? Well, work late, go for a walk or go to bed early.
Please excuse my bitter tone in this post. I feel like crap and I just want to eat a normal meal. Actually I’d really just like a piece of pizza that’s in the other room. I don’t even know why I’m doing this anymore, and want to just sneak some food and pretend none of this ever happened. But I won’t. Somewhere, I can find that discipline and focus within me and I do know I’ll feel rejuvenated after a few days. Tomorrow will be easier.
This is ALL mental. Just like running a half-marathon – it’s going to be hard for most everyone, but it’s about who can push past the pain and take on the challenge head on. Miles 9-13 hurt like hell, but I endured the pain. If I can do that, I can get through 5 measly days of juicing LOL.