IS THAT SEAWEED IN YOUR SWIMSUIT? OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME.
This isn’t just any swimsuit, this suit alone might have caused one of, if not the, most embarrassing moment in my life. READ BELOW BUT CAUTION THINGS GET EMBARRASSING!
I brought this on a trip to Mission Beach with several of my closest girlfriends and my 7th grade crush at the time (and by crush I mean obsession!). I thought it was so cute and couldn’t wait to wear it, meaning I hadn’t worn it yet.
I start to get into the cool ocean water and feel sexy as if I am Pamela Anderson (minus the rack) frolicking in the playful ocean waters. As I arise from the waters with pure sexy confidence in my yellow bikini and start to walk along the sand, my crush’s younger brother looks over at me and says “Lindsay you have seaweed in your swimsuit!” and he means this with all seriousness. I look down as my girlfriend looks over at me too. I then come to the realization that my yellow bikini had turned CLEAR.
It was not seaweed that lay inside the bottom of my swimsuit but hair. Yes, Pubic Hair. I knew you were supposed to shave your bikini line but apparently mom was asleep when it came to advice on pubic hair maintenance. Let’s just say I have an extremely thick head of hair which many women dote over but that also comes with a hefty price down below.
I was more than embaressed. I wanted to DIE! Here the little brother of my obsession called me out for having pubic hair and actually thought it was seaweed. I ran as fast as I could back to the beach house! I had to fix this at once! Not knowing the best way to go about this seeing as how I had zero advice from anyone but my fellow peers. We went down the street to the local store and bought NAIR.
It said it removed hair quick and painlessly. The bottle made it very clear it was for leg hair but we figured all hair is the same. This was a bad figuration. We went back to her beach house and all 3 of us locked ourselves in the hallway bathroom “Nairing” our you know what! 2 minutes goes by and we all started to yelp and scream. We had removed the hair but now replaced it with red burns.
Moral of the story “Save your daughter the embarrassment and by her a razor or a nice Brazilian.” Have the hair talk, she will thank you later!
Also, I have no idea why I kept this swimsuit seeing as how it went see-through in water and is now forever tainted with thoughts of seaweed. Yet another example of why you should CLEAN OUT YOUR CLOSET!
Now I told you mine! Tell me yours! Come on, it’s only fair!